Family- What is family? Is it only biological? Is it deeper?
So this is a picture of my "sister" Rachel in the middle. Mercy I love that girl. She lived with our family from my freshman year on through, and then still came "HOME" on summers.
She is as sister as they come. Full of love for me and my family, a loving and caring girl to talk with, cracks me up and gets ME - the real me, has all the "remember when..." stories, I can vent about my family- but she knows that I love them (of course I do!), and I shared a room with her.
My heart loves KIDS- (ummm... I chose to be a public school teacher, I live in a smaller home and drive a purple mini van so that I can stay home and be with my babes) and I know that I desire lots of kids. 3 kids is great- truthfully I thought we would have had 1 more- but Corey and I just seemed to MISS each other's windows of wanting more, and now it seems so long that we have been out of the baby stage- like we would need to have TWO more so that they would have some company. Right?
OK, so why if Corey and I love kids so much, have a happy/secure family; aren't sharing it with others? I guess I feel that we are being STINGY with our happiness and love. I mean, we have it GOOD. Plus Corey is a phenomenal dad, and being mom doesn't stress me out most days- I LOVE being mom. I have wanted to be a mom since... forever. My mom said by 18 months I was obsessed with babies and being MOMMY.
Is God saying to have more? Corey and I have considered foster care- but we aren't sure that we could love them LIKE they WERE ours, knowing that they weren't. Knowing that we were sending "our" little loves back somewhere unsafe would KILL us.
So, then WHAT? Should we continue until God literally throws something in our path? Or do we wait knowing that sometimes the friends of our boys might need a place later on- like in high school, like my sister Rach? I wish I knew WHY God gave me these desires. (Random Desire #2- I desire to live and do some short term mission work in a Latin America Country.) I desire to work and be around kids. I love raising kids with Corey to go out and shine God's love as godly, Christian men.
I may not have all my little ducklings in a perfect row. But they are close, learning, gleaning all the time under Corey's and my watchful eye. We are training them to be alert, show love, and be generous.
So, what do you do with your inner desires?
Me- For now I am cherishing every minute of these little men as they are growing at an alarming rate! I am waiting on the Lord.
What does God have in store for our family? I don't quite know.
Which kills me, cause I am a PLANNER. I like to know, then make lists.
What is in store for your family-- long term?
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