It was too hard then... but now, we are improving

So Corey, my best friend/hubby/love of my life has Crohn's Disease. We received our diagnosis in Nov. of 2007 ~ struggled, were desparate for something to SAVE my partner. He was so sick. Those were H*A*R*D, dark times, (throw in having twins in Dec. while already having a 1 year old) and life seemed to be pushing Corey and I to the brink.

We fought though. Tried anything, everything. He got better (mostly) through medication and a strict diet. We do no grains, gluten, lactose, no sugar ( honey only and those accurring naturally in fruit.) We eat organic, free-range, non-processed food. Wholesome food, Ha!! - expensive food. We all love it and feel really GREAT! After a year in "remission" we decided to go down on Corey's medication due to side effects. He did great for about another 6 months. Then, well....

Things started not going so well. He was tired, in pain, sleeping all the time, losing joy in his family, depression started sneaking up. This was around Thanksgiving, and it was quickly getting worse, spiraling downward at an ALARMING, TERRIFYING rate. He was getting tumor like things on his eyes * inflammation, red sore eyes *inflammation, roseacea on his face *inflammation, muscle in neck sore * inflammation.

So well, maybe it was the medication that helped ~ and not the diet that we BANKED on, PRAYED would help. But this time we:
1. Did know what we were dealing with
2. Knew where to get help
3. I was not CAPABLE of going to that dark place again. I can't GO there again.
4. Am able to be pushy when it comes to getting help for my family.

So here Corey and I were again, all Dec. and Jan. back to Doctors, Specialists, praying, worrying. I tried not to freak. I tried to be strong and not talk about it. I couldn't YET. It was too hard, too real, too deja-vu. They immediately worked through diagnosing all the new issues, all INFLAMMATION again. They bumped up the medication, and added steriods. He healed and recovered quickly this time.

The main specialiest said, " Uh-oh. This must be serious. You have the wife here, and no kids." Umm... yeah. This is MY LIFE. Plus I knew that it was bad when a best friend whose daughter attends pre-school with Gabe said, "How is the Christmas shopping going?" And I erupt into tears, and sob , "Horrible. Corey is doing bad. He sleeps from the time he gets home until about 7:30 or 8:00. Eats a late dinner and goes right into bed. He does enjoy his boys even right now." *Sorry Jenae :)

Now, now that we are on the upswing I can actually talk about it without crying, and it feels good, therapeutic. Sorry for not sharing earlier friends, BUT I COULDN'T. It was TOO real, too raw. I was openning up the WHAT-IF can. I wasn't trusting God because my FEAR was too raw, in my face. Crohn's can be DEVASTATING ~ I know. My FEAR was all I could see. I was holding my breath, afraid to upset the balance from barely making it to WORST CASE SCENARIO. Still Corey (Mr. Wonderful) always reminds me about NOW MATTER HOW BAD WE (THINK WE) HAVE IT, SOMEONE ALWAYS HAS IT WORSE AND WOULD TAKE YOUR SITUATION OVER THEIR'S IN A HEARTBEAT. ( Some people are terminally ill, some have lost young children, the list goes on... and on....) So seek TRUTH, push back your FEAR. Truth allows for hope to grow, dreams to still be planned and followed and life to be lived, better ideas to grow.

We are now seeing a specialist at OHSU for a second opinion, which we have NEVER had before. This is a progressive, top hospital and we are anxiously awaiting new hope, ideas from the doctors. We are also making plans for trips, vacations and home fixing up plans.

Thank Jesus for carrying us through those hard times. We are moving forward. Things are looking up!

**** Alright sorry for the downer post. BLAH!!! But tomorrow I have my Children's top fave things. This should be FUN!!!!!!!!!!